Two Steps Forward, but Still One Back...

I have been feeling much much better lately. Thank God! The physical realities of the miscarriage were short, intense and overwhelming, but short in terms of number of days actually going through it. The emotional side is getting better.

In fact yesterday I was having a really good day. T and E (the little girl I watch during the day) were happy, I was being productive, and my emotions were fairly calm :)

And then... I read a post on a board and I was in tears again. It was a happy post. The Duggars (for those who aren't familiar with them they are a quiverfull family with a multitude of children) are pregnant with their 18th child. James and I had joked about us having 18 children so that we would have one more than the Duggars before because people are always asking us what our upper limit is (we don't have one is the actual answer, as many as God gives is how many children we will have). Reading that she was pregnant again, due at the very same time I thought I was released some emotion in me. I am very happy for them, a baby is always a blessing... I'm just sad for what isn't going to be for us at the end of the year/beginning of 2009.

The steps forward have been so encouraging, I guess I still need to work on accepting the steps back as they come. Emotions are a funny (and sometimes not so funny!) thing...

~faith